On February 27, 2012, I took my first self-portrait. I’ve dealt with depression off and on throughout my life, and the winter of 2012 was especially bleak. I was ashamed of my life, and felt disconnected from myself and from the world. On the night of February 26, I’d made a promise to myself, one I’d made time and again: “Tomorrow will be different. Tomorrow I will do something.” And I did. I really, really did.
I’d previously discovered the Guest-Directed Self Project, and it seemed like the perfect place to reconnect with myself and others. I completed the first two prompts my first day, and many more over the following weeks and months. Soon I began taking self-portraits without prompts. Slowly, steadily, my life began to take on a sense of purpose. I felt proud of myself for the first time since childhood. I felt alive. I still do.
Depression and anxiety are two monsters I will battle forever, but now I have a place to pour all of the magic and mystery and horror of being me. Happy Anniversary to me!
Self-portraits above: 2/27/12, 2/22/13, 2/22/14